Sunday, April 16, 2006

Mrs. Mills gets tough

Although Mrs. Mills usually dispenses advice that is gentle and patrician, there are times when I wonder what kind of torture she was subjected to as a child. Witness the following exchange:

The question:

My husband of 28 years is very stubborn. He will insist he still takes the same-size shirt collar as he did when we married, despite the fact that he has gained a few stone in weight. How do I convince him he looks silly without hurting his feelings too much?
The devious response:

Weaken all the button threads by dragging a sharp knife over them at an angle, then when they start pinging off as he “relaxes”, you will have the ideal opportunity to broach the undeniability of his having turned into a fat pig.

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