Let's take stock a frakking minute. You, being too clever by half, thought you could avoid the coalition nonsense and pwn Harper's goolies by getting the Cons to put together a Liberalish budget that you could support. Maybe because you were gaming on buying time to see your party's poll numbers go up enough to give you a shot at what Dion never became. But what happened? You got your precious budget, and then when the hot new US prez from your previous peer group comes dashing his dashing way up to Canada, you get relegated to shaking his hand as he moves from Air Force One to his slick new heated armoured limo to meet the man whose tackle you thought you had in a box on your desk.
The Opposition leader has been banished to an airport hangar. The TV cameras are being kept away from Gov. Gen. Michaelle Jean. And the involvement of cabinet ministers remains a state secret.
The logistical arrangements for Barack Obama's Canadian visit have relegated all Canadian actors to the sidelines save for one: Prime Minister Stephen Harper.
The meeting will take place at the military airport hangar where Obama will be arriving, and access to that spot will require grabbing a shuttle bus hours before the session.
Teneycke said the Prime Minister's Office has no problem with the president meeting the Opposition leader. He noted that ex-president George W. Bush met with Harper when he was Opposition leader.
Unlike this airport encounter, that 2004 meeting took place in Parliament's main building.
A Liberal official says the schedule has been co-ordinated by the Prime Minister's Office, and that it keeps changing.
The Liberal said Ignatieff was originally supposed to get 30 minutes with the president, but that was whittled down to 20 minutes and, finally, 15 minutes.
What does Canada's head of state get? A little better. At least she'll be warm. Hangers in winter, as you'll soon find out, are freezing, breezy caves reeking of hydraulic fluid that none but the fitters seem to enjoy.
What does the Canadian public get? All Stephen, all the time. Again. Thanks to you. Because you let him stay up there. Because you couldn't get over yourself enough to bring the man down when you had the chance. Now you're going to pay for it. Because you just had to have yourself a monogamous phallus fight with the biggest prick in Ottawa. Now we're going to pay for it because we get to keep watching The Stephen Harper Cult of Stephen Harper
Where does this leave you Michael? It leaves you in the unflattering position of suddenly finding yourself with your shorts around your ankles holding yourself in front of everyone. You can get out of this. You simply have to ignore the jeers, pull up your trousers, go directly and smartly to Gilles and Jack, place yours in a small wooden box, and hand it them for safe keeping whilst apologising profusely for your bout of I-really-don't-know-what-the-hell-I-was-thinking, and then maybe, just maybe, you'll get a do-over. And you had better not pooch that one.
Or, if you just can't bring yourself to do that, simply turn the keys to Stornoway over to Bob Rae.