Monday, April 09, 2007

Is Jesus just playing with us?

Jesus, (the Nazarene; not the Mexican), seems to be making regular appearances on and in all kinds of things. The latest is this guy's discovery:
It's the holiest weekend on the Christian calendar and a bizarre sighting is confirming one man's faith. Roberto Colon, 46, claims he can see the image of Jesus Christ on a wooden footstool.

Ironically, Roberto lives on Church Street in east Toledo. The vision first came to him Saturday morning. He says something prompted him to look in the hallway. "Something just told me to look over and I looked over and there it was," said Colon.

Roberto says the image is easier to see when you stand back. "From a distance you can see a figure of what looks to me to be Christ the Lord," he said.

Which is pretty amazing when you get right down to it. Since nobody really knows what Jesus of Nazareth actually looked like, it may well be the image of some practical joking Benedictine monk.

I actually came face to face with one of these images. I know the owners of Cowboy Coffee on Victoria Street in Kamloops. On one of my visits there, Aaron Fraser, one of the cooks, couldn't wait to show me the image of Jesus he discovered after roasting peppers.

One has to understand, Aaron is anything but a devout Christian. He's more likely to worship a bullfrog than Jesus. But, he is an entrepreneur and he immediately put his discovery up for sale. $62 later, the Jesus festooned baking sheet was on its way to Nakusp, British Columbia.

Oh yes. I'm delighted to inform you that I did not see Jesus in Aaron's baking sheet. In fact, I couldn't help remarking that the caramelized pepper juice looked remarkably like a piece of kelp.

All of these events in which Jesus is suddenly staring out at the world from baking sheets, footstools, a messed-up piece of gyproc or even a grilled-cheese sandwich got me wondering. Why would the so-called Messiah, son-of-the-unpronounceable, choose to show himself via food and furniture? I guess I'm not the only one confused about this because hairy fish nuts puts it beautifully.

Why doesn't Jesus come back as, y'know, Jesus? Why does he play these bizarre peak-a-boo look I'm in a taco now! games?

Seems odd behavior but then again his dad liked to dress up like combusting horticulture so perhaps it runs in the family.

Personally, I'm waiting to see what happens if Jesus ever shows up as the first-base bag in a major league baseball game. It'll be worth watching the umpire call that one.

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