Sunday, September 17, 2006

Mrs. Mills on tricky toilets

Mrs. Mills takes on an unusually delicate problem with indelicate candor.

At a dinner party the other day, I had to visit the loo, probably as a reaction to the starter course. It was embarrassing enough having to leave the table while the remaining guests continued to fill themselves, but I managed to complete the task rapidly, except for one thing. The evidence, as it were, would not disappear, even after several noisy flushes. I spent an age refilling and reflushing without success. Was there a problem with the plumbing? Would the hosts wonder what the noise upstairs was all about? In the end, I returned to the table and kept quiet. What would be the correct thing to have done?
I wish I'd thought of this.

Rather than plugging away with an ineffectual cistern, after the second failure, you should have retrieved a large bucket, filled it from the bath tap and hurled the contents down the lavatory pan. It never fails to swoosh the contents away. If challenged to explain why you require a bucket, say you just want to soak your toenails, though, of course, the smart thing would be simply to announce that you are “off to deal with a recalcitrant turd”.
More at the Times Online.

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