Thursday, February 07, 2013


In an effort to promote a more robust Canadian identity, the Conservatives have produced an incentive and merit based three-tiered Canadian citizenship.

First Class
The top class of Canadian citizen applies to biological male persons who:
- Second generation or greater Canadians who are 1) non-Muslim and of Western European ancestry, 2) native English or French speakers
- Members of the Conservative Party of Canada
- First generation Canadians or Canadians of non-Western European ancestry who are fluent English or French speakers, have served in the police or armed forces, or otherwise satisfied the Minister for Citizenship and Immigration of their loyalty to Canada
- Must not hold dual-citizenship if second citizenship is not UK, Australia, New Zealand, or US

Second Class
- Non-Western European Canadians who are 1) not members of the Conservative Party and 2) have not served in the armed forces or police
- Must not hold dual-citizenship

Third Class
- Dual-citizens of non-Anglosphere citizenship and/or first generation Canadian-only citizens of non-Western European ancestry
- Muslims, Roma, LGTBQ, women
- Citizenship may be revoked without public justification at the discretion of any federal cabinet minister

Passports and identity cards are to be issued marking the class of citizenship of the bearer. Persons who have had their citizenship revoked by a minister are ineligible to take wage employment, return to Canada upon leaving, enroll in education, or otherwise receive public services. While dual citizens may benefit from returning to their country of alternate citizenship former Canadian-only citizens effectively become stateless and are permitted to appeal to the United Nations or other external organizations for aid.


West End Bob said...

I wasn't so sure it was satire 'til I saw your Label, Boris.

Sounds exactly like something the reformaTories would come up with . . . .

Steve said...

Meanwhile the F35 continues to pass tests using Conservative standards.