Mrs. Mills does the Ritz

As always, Mrs. Mills tackles the worst of the world's problems. This time she sorts through the problem of multi-engine toilet paper rolls in high-end hotels.

We have recently returned from a stay in a posh hotel. In the bathroom, there were two toilet-roll holders side by side, each with a new roll. Can you advise on the correct etiquette for their use. Should one use a piece of paper from each alternately? Are they his and hers rolls, or is there some other protocol? Help, lest we embarrass ourselves by improper usage.

Having encountered this very problem myself, I find that I had the wrong solution.

This is just another manifestation of the bonkers escalation of the arms race between hotels as to what constitutes poshness. We would be quite happy if the chambermaid checked the level of the roll each morning, rather than load up an array of holders like missile silos ready for launch in case of virulent dysentery. It is just nonsensical faux sophistication. Besides, don't the best hotels supply their guests with unlimited, ever-replenished, fluffy white towels, anyway? Much more effective. Just don’t try flushing them away.

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