Men who are trying to tell you they had an abortion

It must have been a slow news day. I can't believe the LA Times actually gave this any space. Mind you, they let Jonah Goldberg shit all over their pages so maybe I shouldn't be so surprized.

Thankfully, Birth Pangs laid right into it.

Yeah. Men are now claiming they have had abortions and, well, they're suffering buckets full of remorse... for going to the clinic shrugging their shoulders so many moons ago.

Here. Let me show you a couple of them from the LAT article.

Morrow, the counselor, described his regret as sneaking up on him in midlife -- more than a decade after he impregnated three girlfriends (one of them twice) in quick succession in the late 1980s. All four pregnancies ended in abortion.

Oh really... ?

That's not regret. That's a mid-life crisis. Give the guy a Mazda Miata and he'd probably forget all about it. But more to the point is that this guy is completely impeachable. Three girlfriends in quick succession? Did they know each other?!

The thing is, it suited his needs perfectly then. I doubt, when he was getting laid by whoever would remove her pants for him, that in the throes of sexual climax he was yelling, "I'm making a baby!" Given that he apparently moved around a lot, pregnancy was probably not on his mind at all. That was clearly the woman's problem... as he moved on to the next one.

Chris Aubert, a Houston lawyer, felt only indifference in 1985 when a girlfriend told him she was pregnant and planned on an abortion. When she asked if he wanted to come to the clinic, he said he couldn't; he played softball on Saturdays. He stuck a check for $200 in her door and never talked to her again.

Played softball on Saturdays. Right.

Aubert, 50, was equally untroubled when another girlfriend had an abortion in 1991. "It was a complete irrelevancy," he said. But years later, Aubert felt a rising sense of unease. He and his wife were cooing at an ultrasound of their first baby when it struck him -- "from the depths of my belly," he said -- that abortion was wrong.

Hmmm... but then we have Aubert converting to Catholicism and feeling there's something missing in his life.

He might have endured a loveless marriage and, perhaps, a sad divorce. He might have been saddled with child support as he tried to build his legal practice. He might never have met his wife. Their children -- Christine, Kyle, Roch, Paul, Vance -- might not exist.

Touching.

And irrelevant.

Have you noticed anything about any of these clowns? They're all in mid-life and they're all regretting some decision in their past. But in both these cases, these guys treated the women involved like throw-aways. Now, they want to go back and revisit a teaspoon of released semen as though they had intended to become fathers.

The stories they tell of their past speak of a level of remarkable immaturity. Now that they're all grown up, they can't wait to tell others how to live their lives.

And to get you to understand how they feel now, they're willing to force out some crocodile tears. Proof that they still haven't matured beyond a self-absorbed adolescent.

But for the killer line from Chris Aubert, the man who had to play softball while his pregnant girlfriend went to the clinic, you'll have to go to Birth Pangs.

More! More! More! at Unrepentant Old Hippie.