Mrs. Mills explains noisy sex

As usual, Mrs. Mills cuts directly to the problem and provides a practical, realistic solution.

If this is happening to you, you should take heed.

I hear my parents having sex, rather loudly, on a regular basis. Being 21 and knowing my parents have a healthy relationship makes me feel warm inside, but couldn’t they be quieter?

How could I broach this? (Surely it isn’t a dinner- table conversation?)

Having not explained whether the 21-year old finds the noise is interfering with sleep or whether it's just the horror of visualizing parents actually having sex, Mrs. Mills gets right down to business.

Your parents are having loud sex because you are 21 and they want you to leave home. Take the hint now, before they resort to more drastic action and you “accidentally” walk in on them doing something ludicrously gymnastic over the kitchen table.

More of Mrs. Mills at the TimesOnline.