We'll always have Paris

But she won't be anywhere near as rich as she wanted to be.

Barron Hilton, son of the international hotel chain's founder, said Wednesday that he will donate nearly all of his fortune to his family's philanthropic foundation that supports housing for the homeless, safe water in developing countries and other causes worldwide.

Barron Hilton, 80, plans to donate to the Conrad N. Hilton Foundation a total of nearly $2.3 billion at his death, including $1.2 billion in proceeds from two recent corporate deals and 97% of his other $1.1 billion in assets. Hilton said in a statement that his father, Conrad, left 97% of his wealth to the foundation, "and I am proud to follow my father's example."

Surely, he wouldn't leave Paris stranded without a bunch of cash.

He couldn't be reached for further comment. But his publicist, Patrick Barry, said Barron Hilton will distribute to his heirs the remaining 3% of his personal estate. Hilton has eight children and numerous grandchildren, including granddaughter Paris Hilton, 26, a tabloid celebrity known for provocative photos, a reality TV show and a jail stint this year stemming from driving violations.

That's $8.6 million per child, without including grandchildren, which is the place Paris holds.

And Mr. Barry left out the *AHEM* video of Paris doing... whoever it was.

Barron Hilton was apparently unimpressed with young Paris' celebrity status.

Jerry Oppenheimer, who profiled the Hilton family in his 2006 book “House of Hilton,” has said Barron Hilton is embarrassed by the behavior of his socialite granddaughter Paris and believes it has sullied the family name.

Hmmm... I guess, given the way Paris burns through money, she'll probably have to get, you know, a real job.

I wonder... does professional party girl have a place on a resume?

Regrets, he's had a few

I missed this one last week as I was busy blowing out birthday candles before the kitchen caught fire, but apparently Conrad Black regrets giving up his Canadian citizenship.

Black, who might have faced a lighter sentence if he'd been tried in Canada, admitted to Men's Vogue that he wished he hadn't surrendered his Canadian citizenship -- after a public battle of wills with former prime minister Jean Chretien -- to take up a seat in the House of Lords.
"I do regret giving up my Canadian citizenship," he said, "but I always said I would
take it back."

Well, boo-frickin'-hoo yer lordship, I guess the House of Lords kind of regrets it too. I mean, really, when you get turfed from the Conservative side of the House of Lords for being an arrogant, autocratic robber baron and crook maybe its time to rein in the hubris just a smidgen. As for your Canadian citizenship, which you happily tossed aside to become a titled foreign aristocrat, you might be willing to "take it back" but I don't see the line forming to sign the petition to make you an offer.

Black is to be sentenced on Nov. 30. for obstruction of justice and three counts of mail fraud. He faces a maximum of 35 years in federal prison. Start chilling the champagne.