You have a little problem. Your column was an incredible yawner: out of touch, out of date, out of the current reality. In short, Dave, you're an unbelievable bore trying to push your ridiculously Victorian mentality on a population that really wants to find its way back to the humanity of the Middle Ages.
Look it up, Buckwheat. The sex lives of the Medieval religious devout would curl your toes.
On the other hand, there's this.
Hat tip Canadian Cynic.
OK. I'm done. Back to sea with me.