Urk . . .

The recession has hit everybody really hard...

• My neighbor got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

• CEO's are now playing miniature golf.

• Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.

• I saw a Mormon with only one wife.

• If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you call them and ask if they meant you or them.

• Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America.

• Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's names.

• My cousin had an exorcism but couldn't afford to pay for it, and they re-possessed her!

• A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.

• When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.

• The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.

And, finally....

I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Hotline. I got a call centre in Pakistan, and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.