We MUST be nearing an election...

Because the Rhinos are back!

The Rhinos are back and they're hoping to lure voters with the tantalizing promise of weekly orgasms - and marijuana in every pot. The Neorhino party promises to declare Spanish as Canada's official language and pass legislation forcing Prime Minister Stephen Harper to go on a diet. [...]

The new party - officially called neorhino.ca - is one of at least two groups claiming to be a reincarnation of the defunct Rhinocerous party that specialized in political satire.

Like the old Rhinos, the party has no clear political ideology except for two deep beliefs: something's seriously wrong with the state of modern politics, and Canadian public discourse could use a lot more fun.

"We are a Marxist-Lennonist party - based on the philosophy of Groucho Marx and John Lennon," said party president Francois Gourd.

Some other of their party platform:

Among its other campaign planks: Replace soldiers' weapons with paintball guns; Create a national gas-barbecue registry; and replace the Defence Department with a Ministry of Laughter.

And, just in case you did ever think of taking the NeoRhinos seriously, they've sat down with an abacus and come up with something very, very interesting.

Beneath the thick veneer of gags, the party raises a serious point: people are so disenchanted with politics that almost 40 per cent of Canadians no longer bother voting in federal elections.

That, for the Neorhinos, produces a tantalizing bit of electoral math. If every single one of those non-voters were to cast a ballot for them, they could statistically hope to win a majority government.

They also made a point regarding Harper's attempt to explain his ridiculous interpretation of Beatles lyrics to his son, Ben.

"We're just joining the herd of the stupid, the idiots and the nuts," Gourd said. "When you have to explain Beatles songs to your children, something is strange."

Actually, considering who it was, it's not really all that strange.

One would hope that the NeoRhinos are permitted to participate in the inevitable and singularly useless leaders' debates that come with any election campaign. At least then it would be worth watching.