Offensisensitivity

Many have tried over the years to craft the perfect response to the stunned cunts who complain about bad language and incivil invective on the interweb tubes. This magnificent bastard has at last succeeded.

I hate offended people. They come in two flavours - huffy and whiny - andit's hard to know which is worst. The huffy ones are self-important,narcissistic authoritarians in love with the sound of their own booming disapproval, while the whiny, sparrowlike ones are so annoying and sickly and ill-equipped for life on Earth you just want to smack them round the head until they stop crying and grow up. Combined, they're the very worst people on the planet - 20 times worse than child molesters, and I say that not because it's true (it isn't), but because it'll upset them unnecessarily, and these readers deserve to be upset unnecessarily, morning, noon and night, every sodding day, for the rest of their wheedling lives.

I nominate him for spiritual leader of the month

crossposted from the Woodshed