Mrs. Mills repositions the banana

From the TimesOnline, Mrs. Mills gently advises a new cyclist on the finer points of wearing a banana:

My neighbour, a keen cyclist, has been trying to interest me in the sport for some time now. He tells me that, apart from the obvious health benefits, by inserting a banana down your Lycra shorts, it is a sure way of attracting the interest of young women. Suitably motivated by the extensive television coverage of Le Tour the other weekend, I have spent a small fortune kitting myself out with a new bike, yellow top, shades and so on. I’ve just returned, disappointed, from my inaugural spin up the high street. I have found that women have shown no interest whatsoever. I also found cycling extremely difficult and particularly messy with a banana shoved down the back of my shorts. Am I doing something wrong?

And her answer....

Where you went wrong was in getting on the bike. Yes, women are attracted by the sight of a fit man, muscles etched in tighter definition by clinging Lycra, but it’s no use if he whizzes by in a blur of synthetic colour. Cycle couriers enjoy a reputation for sexiness because they get off their bikes and click into office receptions in the funny little shoes. Also, I think your neighbour might have been pulling your leg about the banana business. Looking as if you have been caught short and had an accident is never attractive.